Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Naked Mile Is Real?

Boston.com- For decades, bright leaders of tomorrow at Tufts University have found respite from their high-minded pursuits in the noblest of college traditions: streaking around the quad in a madcap dash through a cold December night.But to the chagrin of nudist revelers everywhere, college administrators have called a stop to the alcohol-fueled antics, saying the annual student celebration has gone too far.In a sharply worded column published in yesterday’s Tufts Daily, university president Lawrence Bacow said the Naked Quad Run has become an increasingly unruly and dangerous event that puts students’ lives at risk.“Given that we can no longer manage the run, we cannot allow this ‘tradition’ to continue,’’ Bacow wrote in the student newspaper. “Even if I did not act now, NQR would end some day. The only question is whether a student has to die first. We cannot allow this to happen."But students expressed disappointment at the loss of a cherished tradition they said created many classic college moments, a burst of semester’s end bonding before the final exam crunch.“There are not that many shared experiences for students,’’ said senior Ben Gittleson, who reported Bacow’s decision for the student newspaper. “This is one of them, and a quirky one at that.’’Gittleson and other students said most participants, though certainly not all, are sober, and annoyed that inebriated students had ruined the fun.But Bacow said “alcohol fuels’’ the run, and many students need to drink “to fortify themselves to shed their inhibitions and run in subfreezing conditions." This December, the college said, was a particular nightmare. A dozen students were hospitalized after the event, two with blood alcohol levels over 0.3 percent, more than three times the legal limit for adult drivers (most undergraduates are below the legal drinking age). Drunk students who went to a local hospital to check on a friend disrupted the emergency room, Bacow said, and another student was arrested in a confrontation with police.Over the years, the combination of heavy drinking and running has led to broken bones and a host of other injuries.“Clearly this past December we once again only narrowly avoided a tragedy,’’ Bacow wrote.

TIME THE FUCK OUT! You mean to tell me the naked mile is a real thing? I though it was college propaganda created by Hollywood to get people to go to college, like being able to have a food fight in the cafe like Animal House, or to have a dorm like Van Wilder's (without having to be the star of a championship winning team). I need to find a school that hasn't disowned this sacred tradition and transfer the fuck outta here. I have yet to see anyone even attempt to put together a naked mile. All we get are 3 booth carnivals and raided house parties. Where are the hot chicks running laps around our campus? Where are the... did they say December? Fuck that noise. Last thing I need is lookin like I got the dick of a preschooler cause its 20 degrees out and I just drank enough to make Robert Downey, J.r. look like a two beer queer. Maybe schedule it for April when I can enter a 3-legged race alone  and then we'll talk. Until then, I'll just stand in my snorkel making fun of all the guys whose dicks are tucked away like a scared turtle because if they took a pee break they would have yellow icicles hangin from their pubes.

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