Monday, April 18, 2011

Naked Weddings Are Bullshit

Daily MailWilliam and Kate might like to give this idea for their big day a miss. A couple have turned the other cheek to tradition by getting married – in a naked wedding. Melanie Schachner, 26, and Rene Schachner, 31, had racked their brains to come up with something so memorable for their big day that they would never forget. The groom and not-so-blushing bride decided to strip off and get married in the nude in front of their family and friends. They walked down the aisle in a register office service in Feldkirchen, Austria, before celebrating with a reception in a nearby castle. Melanie wore a traditional veil and white high heels. Her breasts were exposed but a flesh-coloured thong covered her nether-regions. The groom, however, remained totally nude throughout the service, using only a top hat to cover his modesty when posing for wedding pictures.Thankfully for the couple, the registrar managed to keep her embarrassment under control and make it through the reading of the vows. Melanie said: ‘We’re not ashamed of our bodies and we wanted to do something different. It certainly saved on a wedding dress.’

First of all, this isn't a naked wedding. Veil and high heels are acceptable but "flesh-coloured thong"? That is not a naked wedding. It is a top-less wedding. It is still a step towards a hippie-love in wedding but it isn't a naked wedding.
How is the groom okay with this?
1. All of his friends and family get to see his wife's tits. Plus there is a photographer. I wouldn't be cool with anyone seeing my bride's knockers during our wedding. Plus the reception has a lot of dancing and tits bouncing around. Were the rest of the parties nude too?
2. When you get scared, your dick shrinks. Last thing I need is to be standing in front of my friends and fam and be rockin a pinky between my legs because I am getting married. People get super scared and run away when they get to wear clothes. This sounds like a bad dream. You're getting married and you look down and realize you aren't wearing any clothes. That sounds scary as shit. Unless you can rock a fear boner, than go for it. Personally, I'd be rockin' that top hat the whole damn ceremony. Nothin' like showing up for the big game with anything less than your best. And showing off with a softee is like a chick without make-up or a push-up bra.

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