Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Planking Is For Douches

(Newser) – The odd Facebook trend of "planking" has been blamed for the death of an Aussie who slipped off a seven-story balcony. The accident occurred as the 20-year-old man was apparently on the ledge trying to balance for photo of himself lying "like a plank." It's part of a trend of people taking pictures of themselves lying stiffly with arms pressed to their sides in funny or precarious locations. Tens of thousands of Facebook users have "liked" pages like Planking Australia, Planking Ireland, and Planking Norway, notes CNN. The posers are trying to "outdo" each other by taking bigger risks when they "plank." The "potential disaster increases as more and more risks are taken to get the ultimate photo," said a statement by Queensland police. "If you want to take a photo of yourself planking on a park bench two foot off the ground, there are no risks with that. But when you start doing it seven stories up or lying across a railway line, that's what we have a concern about. Is it worth life in a wheelchair to take a funny photo to impress somebody you don't know on the Internet?" Queensland cops last week busted a man photographing himself lying face down on a police car. The trend apparently started in 2009 on Facebook as the "Lying Down Game."

Is this what our youth has to look forward to at gym class. "The Lying Down Game." No more dodgeball, steal the bacon, they probably don't even make the kids climb that rope in gym class because it's too tall. The lying down game has to be the dumbest fucking game ever (at least since duck, duck, goose). Like, it's bad when kid's look forward to the days in gym when they do the "fun run". First of all that is false advertisement if I've ever seen it. Running a mile, or in my case running a lap and wheezing and walking through the other 3. And what a ridiculous oxymoron, no running is fun, unless it's in a real sport like football (the one with the weird shaped ball, not soccer). You don't get a runner's high from a mile, you just get shortness of breath and that stinging in your legs. Granted I haven't run a mile in 3 years and I've lost 75 lbs since then, but I'm sure that I would still have close to the same results.

But back to this stupid fucking "game". We need to go back to where Facebook was only used to put up pics of parties you don't remember because you were too piss drunk to remember anything after an hour of being there (sorry for pregaming harder than you party). Show me pictures of the time they taped that kids bed to the ceiling or the time you met someone famous, not a picture of you lying down on a cop car with your arms at your side like you're imitating a fish.

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