Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Sloppy Tuna; Vegetarian Sloppy Joe Substitute or Best Bar Name Ever?

NY Times - Something stinks in Montauk. A popular new bar called The Sloppy Tuna has locals up in arms over its sexually charged name and a wild, scantily clad clientele more suited for "Jersey Shore." The oceanfront watering hole, which opened this weekend after replacing old-school Nick's on the Beach, draws throngs of girls in Snooki-style skintight miniskirts and bikinis, along with buffed-out men. "It's a huge, drunk crowd," said Chris Kalimnios, 21, an employee at a neighboring hotel. "It's a bunch of sloppy girls, so the name isn't that far off." Resident Ginny Bennis blasted the name choice, saying it's an old seafaring slur for prostitutes who wait at ports for sailors.

Hey Ginny, how about you stop being a cock-block. This is the best name for a bar ever. The Sloppy Tuna? How perfect is it. People go there to get sloppy drunk and they are right by the beach, hence the tuna part. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the gross, soggy vag that will be infesting that place all summer. Just watch their business boom with frat bros, all thinking one thing. "Hey bro, lets go get some trim at the Sloppy Tuna". And forget about forgetting about the name, how the fuck are you not going to remember the Sloppy Tuna? Shit, I think they just created a new term for a wizard's sleeve. "How was that sorostitute you picked up at the bar last nite?" "Dude, sloppy tuna like a 40 year old mother of 3."

And on the flip side, what dirty smut will be excited go to a place called "The Sloppy Tuna"? Like, "OMG Brittany, where should we go out to tonight." "Um, I'm in a Sloppy Tuna kind of mood."

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