Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Vibrators Are Allowed On Airplanes Again

WASHINGTON, D.C.- In addition to knowing that you can access your MP3 player or smart phone on a long flight, you can rest assured that your trusty Rabbit Habit or silk wrist sashes can stay within reach on those cross-country treks. Earlier this week, the Transportation Security Administration announced that vibrators are safe to pack in carry-on bags when flying. Also safe are whips, chains, leashes, restraints and manacles. An article on AOL’s travel site notes, however, that not everyone should pack their goodies in their overnight bag.  “Are you a nervous traveler already?” the article reads. “Prone to looking shifty in line? Yep, you’re going to get flagged. And when you’re flagged, you’re inspected.”  The TSA also reminds travelers that any item that is “club-like” or objects that are “anatomically correct cylinders of roughly a foot or so in length” are still prohibited. In other words, size matters: Keep it under 7 inches and you should be fine.

So, apparently vibrators are allowed back on flights. No big deal. What is a big deal is that this means that they were banned at one point. Like how did that happen? "So, we need to tighten up security. So along with guns, knifes drugs and bombs we are now not letting people bring lighters,  enough fluids to create bombs, anything sharp and vibrators." Than apparently people were like "definitely less vibrators". If anything that would make them more dangerous. How many times have you seen a chick fly off the handles and just thought 'that cunt just needs to get laid'. Shit, they should keep some of them on the plane just in case some crazy chick starts to get hysterical. In case of emergency there are oxygen masks, inflatable rafts and vibrators.

Mark my words, sluts with giant vaginas could possibly have an inequality lawsuit here. Just some old whore with a wizard sleeve between her legs who can't feel anything less than 7 inches is gonna be pissed she can't get off but the chick in 14B whose only been getting it in with Asian dudes is gonna have no problem with her Magic Bullet. I know this is the magic bullet but how did no dildo companies come up with that name first. They are some of the most creative mother fuckers in the game. I should of hired one of them to name my blog. Would of been the best fucking title ever.

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